British readers of roughly my age will remember The Green Cross Code. Look left, look right and Left again or some such thing. Here in China I’d like to propose an update. Pretty much every guide book on China says something like ” the most dangerous thing you will do in China is cross the road”. They’re half right. I think I’m unlikely to be killed but the rules of the road are strange to say the least. 

So. “Look forward, then backwards then left then right but don’t forget the diagonals” And that’s just while you’re on the pavement ! It’s not so much the cars although they drive on the pavement too sometimes, it’s the scooters. And particularly the electric scooters because you can’t hear them coming. Oh and at night, lights are optional. Let me spell out the good things about them first. They’re environmentally friendly ! You’d be surprised how many people they can carry ! The most I’ve seen is five people on one Vespa 125. And just occasionally, to me they look like the epitome of cool. Yesterday I saw a Chinese young man with his girlfriend on the back. She was wearing what looked like a wedding dress, high heels and sitting side saddle. “Roman Holiday” had nothing on this.

But if you’re meandering back at night over the bridge that leads to our campus beware ! One minute you’re fine, the next minute you’re shaking your fist at some lunatic who has pushed you out of the way using his scooter. He smiles back puzzled at the behaviour of the crazy Westerner……